cloudy chore day, quiet

Cloudy here today so my list was by necessity indoors. Not much chance of an outdoor list anyway besides dog-walkies, which F and I did (half a mile!) this morning.
 F. helped me set up my big pottery table with newspaper and matte-finish poly sealer so I can seal up the driftwood I’ve been wanting to prep for mobiles for the last two years. A start, anyway. Did about eight pieces and am waiting to see how they look before I do the rest and then will face the Dremel whose parts seem to have dispersed haphazardly somewhere down there.
  Have begun making my thin odd-shaped dishes again in spite of having already made stacks of them and plan to make at least one more today. If I never glaze them, so what, right? I like making them so I will, dammit. Have an idea to glaze them only partly and then finish them off with a few layers of metal leaf of various colors and acrylic, something that’s been rattling around in the back of my brain for a few years.
Cleaning out the fridge was somewhere in there on the list but didn’t get done. Did manage to organize and clean out two pantries (the birds are delighted), along with a load of laundry.
Was very achy yesterday but am better today especially as I was finally able to wade through the Dr.’s office staff, possibly two of the most unhelpful and unsympathetic women I’ve ever met, and got my refill.. A little worried about how long am going to be reliant on pain pills, but as long as the doc says it’s okay, I’m taking them. Pain ruins everything and I love being able to get things done.
   On the B&B front, have decided not to take any people at all until at least mid-May. I need time for myself this year, just to get things done around here and get myself in really healed. Asked F. about it as it means a loss of some income but he said fine, so I won’t feel bad about it. Of course the minute I decided that I got an email from an old “regular” asking me how the surgery went and when can they come out with their menagerie. Well, exceptions make rules work better, don’t they. Apart from the crew and F. being back and forth, have not seen a human friend all day — will have to get F. to take me to the fish store at least so I can say hi to someone.
Speaking of the crew, they were here today all afternoon, painted the slightly peeling Ivy Room bathroom ceiling and got some electrical stuff in our room done that’s been waiting since 1993. Wow. Thank goodness for cloudy days!
PS good laugh — Obama being bad at bowling. Somehow that struck me as immensely charming.

Another special day, after many days a small steps forward, loads of laundry and dishes and dog washing and acres of tired achiness, we did a luxury morning — or at least I did — spending an hour this morning in Montauk. F. dropped me off at Gurney’s  (he had work to do nearby) where I got the most fabulous facial and pedicure of my entire life! My best friend S. who works there got us a discount which made it not too over the top extravagant and it sure did make me feel wonderful, not just the spectacular facial, but then sitting on that lovely massaging lounge chair watching the sun dancing over the endless Atlantic having my feet pampered …. pure heaven. And the Big News of the day: I can DRIVE!!! I won’t go out on the road for another week as it’s still pretyy painful, but it’s great to know how much stronger I am and thatI can if I have to. What a difference!
Hope everyone’s day is going well — especially my friend, J.   
 And R., my thoughts are with you and your dear friend.
🙂

the verdict

according to surgeon, am “victim of my own progress”. Apparently am doing too much, so have to switch to a slow-down-you-idiot drug. blast. If only it works!

a new chance on a shiny day

about three years ago I had a serious falling out with a woman I had considered a friend. F. was offended by her behavior too, so we just stopped calling her and she must have known she had burned out the bridge between us because she never called us either. As horrendous as she had been on occasion (fits of unbridled temper, paranoid manipulative monologues, that sort of thing)I’ve always missed her. She’s bright, funny, articulate, and can be more than kind and generous.  She’s quite a performer — can sing show tunes and songs like Santa Baby well enough to give me chills. Her little dog is one of the cutest, sweetest, most charming creatures on this earth so needless to say, I’ve missed her too. 
    The other day F and I were hobbling around town (me on my crutches) and suddenly, there she was. We looked at each other warily for a moment, and then fell into a giant hug. Apparently she’s missed us too, said a day didn’t go by that she didn’t think of us. She asked if it would be okay for her to call me and I said YES without a moment’s hesitation. F is a bit more skeptical, but having an open heart is such a tremendous feeling I figured, why close it? I’ve rarely said no to a second chance with a person — maybe that makes me a wimp, but I’ve never regretted it.
    I’ve thought about what went wrong between us a lot in the intervening years and think  I’ve learned a lot more about the boundaries and emotional sore spots of fragile people like her and how to reign in my free spirit and shut up. It’s not always easy to see emotional danger looming with volatile personalities, but I’ve also learned to back off without ceasing to care and love. No idea what, if anything, she’s thought about or learned but might find out today.
My small world bound by walkers and crutches is going to expand to a visit with her this afternoon, a visit I look forward to with great joy.
Wish me luck, please.

spring on the way, but am not springing yet

yesterday was one of the worst days for pain, in fact the last three days have been. Not sure why — maybe muscles are tightening up from healing, internal bruises healing, who knows, but I have been in agony, wishing I could go back on Percoset. F took me to Gurney’s for a swim which was really nice. Overlooking the wild Atlantic in that beautiful heated pool was soul-lifting, and seeing Susan (my best friend, who works there) was so much fun too — she’s always such an upper. We three went to the bar there (also overlooking the ocean) and had a few juice drinks (with a little analgesic vodka thrown in) and some appetizers: baked clams, salad, shrimp rills), so the day ended a lot better than it began. The bartender played a nature video (all the bars seem have those huge obnoxious TV screens the size of cars) of people skiing in impossible remote places that took the breath away. I almost stayed for karaoke night but my hip was too tired for any more sitting an another vodka would have put me on a stretcher. Next week.
      Am tight as a drum again today but once the woodstoves get going will take another bath and see if that helps. If those skirts arrive, I bet the pain goes at leas half way away :G:
 Can’t believe the fuss being made over a few ill- chosen words here and there while the world is erupting around us in all manner of toxic pustules. No need to go into details, you all know what’s going on. Just amazed at how narcissistic the news world is.
Four friends coming over with pot luck dinner tonight — just hope I can manage to stay upright long enough to have fun.
Hope everyone is having fun, in fact, Gorgeous weather here — the dogs were nuts out in the field this morning,

new skirt :)

hope this works

found this source…

…for those gorgeous skirt/dresses online — you won’t believe how fabulous they are!http://stores.ebay.com/sohokarma

a pre PS

 

PS just a note to let you all know I’ve been pretty much absent online for a few weeks because of the pain from the surgery and a bizarre reaction to Percoset which gave me misery-agita  like something out of Dante’s 7th circle of hell ( I wonder if he had some of those pills, or how would he have know what hell was like?). The pain made it unbearable to sit and the agita made it impossible to stay seated anyway for more than 1 second without the overwhelming compulsion to get up and pace driving me from any rest. I slept in 1 hour blocks twice a night under the influence of yet another heavy drug and was very fast losing my mind, though my hip was healing nicely, go figure. My GP (this is the second time he saved my life) got me off the Devil Drug and onto Valium and  Ambien, and advil for the pain (which makes it just bearable), so have been sleeping in three hour blocks and an occasional nap during the day and have begun to feel more human, a dubious distinction at best.
    Usually of a cheerful, if a socially and politically irascible, nature, I’ve been spending time weeping over the unfairness and cruelty of my cousin Maggie’s death,  her daughter
s emotional suffering, and the horrors of my mother’s death, and in general devolving into maudlin infancy which I’m told has a lot to do with pain and sleep deprivation. Yesterday thankfully, I began to come out of it and today made a foray on my own into the basement to get firewood (crutch and large canvas tote bag) and was delighted with the result. Got both stoves going with a nice cheery blaze and the house is warm again, a good thing since F didn’t get to sleep till about 3 (no idea why) and I want to let him sleep. This is not world saving news, but the best I can manage at the moment.
🙂

such a day!

stunningly great day. I can finally walk on my very own for several steps. F and I walked half a mile around the farm with the dogs (crutches and drizzle) which was lovely. I’m making so much more progress than I’d thought I would, am absolutely thrilled.

And this is the second day I actually got dressed up to go out. Yesterday F took me to get a pedicure (!!!) because I can’t cut my own nails and it felt great. The chair they let you sit in is a massager, so it’s wonderful all on it’s own. Then we went to Agway to get a garden kneeler so I can let myself down to the floor if I need to (cleaning woodstoves, etc.,) without killing my hip. I wore one of my fabulous two-layer multi-colored silk skirts from Hawaii which made me feel very cheery and gypsy, an old favorite feeling.
Tonight I put on another one of the skirts and wore with it with a pale green top and a little denim vest and two of my (deceased) cousin’s necklaces her daughter very sweetly gave me all those years ago and I felt like a  princess. We were only going to Sam’s to get takeout (eggplant rollatini) and have a glass of wine, but it sure feels amazing to dress up. Everyone commented on the skirt and my new walking abilities — such nice people.
 This morning one of my best friends came over and took me out shopping ( hardware and health food store), then we drove around looking at all the new houses going up around town, came back, had tea, and spent time oohing and ahhing over my cousin’s necklaces, and talking about sewing projects while managing not to do any of them. Tomorrow night another couple of friends are bringing dinner over. Is there anything better than friends?
Hope all is well with everyone, especially my dear friend J.
🙂

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