Four’s Flights

to explain, have been pretty sick on and off for the last three weeks and am still not sure what happened, especially this last four or five days as I was/am whacked out on something the doc gave me.

   Last week things got worse, so I had too get an endoscopy to find out what was wrong but nothing much appeared. Some of the tests haven’t come back yet so we still know nothing about that bit, and then I got even sicker, so Dr. S. sent me to the emergency room to check for punctures or whatever — I was no longer quite clear about anything that was happening or even where I was when,  the pain and nausea were so all-encompassing. Nothing had got bungled thanks to the gods but after all the tests in the world the emergency room docs discovered nothing very important (apart from inflamed stomach) and decided I was still having bad reactions from the original pain pills from after the surgery. I don’t understand how/why I could have been in so much pain and so nauseous that I wanted to die and actually passed out in the emergency waiting room the first afternoon I got there, had to get hoisted into a wheelchair by a passing EMT and F, who was very worried by then. They gave me a belladonna (!) drink and IV dilaudid which lasted about 2 hours each time (twice) and lots of tests and then an intra muscular shot to get me through the night. By morning it had worn off and I was even sicker,  so sick I threw up twice on the way there (all there was in me was water by then, but that didn’t make it any more pleasurable) where they again IV’d me and did more tests, and finding nothing very conclusive, told me they couldn’t do anything more for me and implied I was a junkie and would just have to go through withdrawal. If they can’t figure out what’s wrong, I guess they felt they had to blame ewhatever it was on me. Fer chrissakes!

   I was really upset since the only “drugs” I’d taken were the IV meds they give you for the endoscopy and am not big on “substances” even at my worst, so before I left I called my own doctor who told me to get out of there and come straight to her office so she could get me straightened out. She also thinks this is all from the percoset/darvoset post-op reaction though I can’t imagine why as I had stopped taking any pain meds at all at least 2 weeks before. At least she knows me, knows it’s not anything I did intentionally, and knows the history of this sickness since the operation. Haven’t felt right since day one after the surgery, though the hip feels great and I have a hard time even remembering how much pain I was in during the three years before it. My natural walk and posture are back, which, after three years, feels absolutely terrific.

   So, Dr. S put me on a patch, and belladonna tablets (for the stomach twisting cramps). I slept through the night like a log and woke feeling well enough to eat again (three days of no food at all before). I never thought I’d see the scale go below 150 (have been about 153 for several years, not a lot of weight on my frame though it sounds like a lot), but now I weigh 138, which I haven’t been near since 1975 or so. I know it will likely pile back on once I get stabilized but for now I do look (if I say so myself) pretty amazing. This is only about ten pounds more than when I was a fashion model in my 20s. Good stuff, bad stuff, that’s life.

   Today I feel very drugged up from the patch the doc gave me — do not like such altered states — but don’t dare take it off before I see Dr. P (my other doctor — S and P work together) on Monday because I’m terrified the symptoms will come back. In all my life I’ve never experienced pain like that. F. thinks it might be babesiosis because of the no-eating thing but we won’t find that out till some time next week when the test comes back.

    This has been a very weird and horrible experience, but hopefully it’s winding down since I’ve got a bit of an appetite back, and feel closer to human than have managed to feel in weeks.

   Have missed reading people’s blogs and the general melee of the group, but am doing my best to catch up on all of you.

🙂