not in the business of making resolutions or doing things “right” but…
….I’ve gained about twelve pounds since Frank died and have decided those are twelve too many extra pounds to be carting around and if I have to go back on the Killer Darvon Diet I will. After my surgery the pain meds (which I took for three weeks) made me so sick I could barely eat for six months. I lost 30 pounds. I vaguely thought I was going to die — there’s a limit to how much weight one can lose and stay alive, it’s not an infinite process after all, and it didn’t look as if I were going to start eating again anytime soon, so after exhausting the painfully shallow resources of the western medical world I made my way to an acupuncturist who (fie on her) saved my life.
Of course at that time I had no idea Frank was going to die, so I did actually want to keep living. Now, am not so sure, but of one thing I AM sure, and that living fat is not what I want. Yes, I know I’m not over my goeal weight, and yes I know that going back to WW meetings and getting myself on a regular meditation schedule, in addition to my already in-place regimen of gym attendance, will help, but am all for the easy way out these days and not at all noble about Doing Things Right. The hell with Doing Things Right, really.
The wind is something wild today — several big branches have thumped onto the roof scaring the dogs under the bed and me into my basement studio, and I’d wander over to the beach to collect flotsam if it weren’t so cold and if my throat weren’t already giving me signs of impending doom (a cold, no less!), and if I hadn’t made a date to have dinner with a dear friend and her living-in-Florence-daughter…. I’m going to the beach. The hell with Doing Things Right. Really. Hot tea with bourbon for dinner too. What the hell.
Four's Flights 
Kathy said,
December 30, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I hope you had a lovely time and don’t get the silly cold.
avoidingstasis said,
December 30, 2009 at 10:04 pm
the beach was gorgeous but alas, no driftwood, just very drify shiftless footloose wild and crazy dogs :). Dinner consisted of a very good Malbeck, a lovely bowl of potato/asparagus soup and some delicious sourdough bread with deep green fruity olive oil, very delicious, but it was the company that really made the meal.This friend, though only recent as of two years ago, always feels like a bosom buddy from childhood, she has that way about her of loving and accepting without conditions, and her daughter is charming and smart and fun to be with unlike so many 20 somethings who have nothing to say for themselves or about the world. Her life in Italy is amazingly fascinating — I can’t get enough of hearing about it especially as Frank and I had spent time there on two of our Venice trips.
Probably more than you wanted to know, but thank you for the kind response, Kathy, anyway.
🙂
PS am keeping the cold at bay with salt water gargle and the like. It’s not too bad. Hope you’re well and happy!
avoidingstasis said,
January 3, 2010 at 11:40 pm
PPS have lost three of the above mentioned pounds already — Kathy, in case you wondered, yes, it’s the spinach diet
😀